What are Boundaries and Why are They Important?
Updated: Jun 3, 2021
How do I set boundaries? It is a burning question that I often receive, and it is a problem that many people face. Next week we will dive in on how to set your boundaries but it is important to understand what boundaries are, why they are important, and identify your non-negotiables to successfully set your boundaries.
WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES?
Boundaries are the space between me and my values with the rest of the world. This energy between us and the "other" is either protected by a boundary or not. As a simple example, a face mask is a boundary between me and COVID-19. There are some boundaries within ourselves that are a bit more concrete such as not smoking, not eating sugar, going to bed earlier, etc. Then you have boundaries in relationships and those can become blurred at times. Your walls can come down and your boundaries could waver in response. Time can also affect your boundaries because there are only twenty-four hours in a day and sometimes that is just not enough.
WHY ARE BOUNDARIES IMPORTANT?
There are some boundaries that are non-negotiable such as being a parent and showing up for your kids every day. Where the boundary can become blurred is when you start to focus so much on your children and forgetting yourself in the process. It is important to identify what your needs are to be able to successfully show up for your non-negotiables. If you are someone who needs a full eight hours of sleep to be able to function properly then you will need to set boundaries that will allow for you to achieve that.
We can handle one or two blows to our boundaries, but over time if not reinforced, our wall begins to crumble. Without our protective barrier, we can feel vulnerable. When we do not feel safe, we stagnate. We change our behavior by taking fewer risks, getting stuck, and becoming unhappy.
Your own boundaries are creating energetic fortresses around everything you do and every space you walk. The goal is to create and maintain energetic fortresses that serve you the way you want; that only allows in the energy you invite. If you are experiencing lots of energetic leaks, you might not be able to recall them right now, but you can absolutely feel them at the moment when your boundaries are being violated.
TAKE ACTION: SET YOUR BOUNDARIES
Define the non-negotiables in your life. These are the responsibilities, activities, and values that are non-negotiable in your life for your personal success and survival.
List out the areas where the outside world is impacting your wellbeing. What are the one or more areas of your life where your energy, productivity, or wellbeing is impacted or drained? Begin to identify the people or circumstances that infiltrate your boundary.
Make your fortress impenetrable! By exploring your boundaries, the root cause, then you can begin to stabilize your foundation